at this moment

as the days to continue to past my mind stays paralyzed in state of randomness. I continue to keep thinking without a foundation or source for the nu thought pattern. It's the cause of events, the way circumstances concluded that have me wandering for some resolution. I stand directly in front of this insecurity with my eyes closed scared to face me, to mirror what my heart doesn't want to hear. That for him I truly just not enough, that I just may not be the woman for him, that he could not be just that in to me, knowing that I'm one of the dopest. I don't want to lose him but if I continue to hold on I'm going to lose myself in him. I keep holding to the fact he has been my love since I was 15, now that I'm 27 he's still the owner of my heart. Letting go is painful because the memory of him is so fresh, I'm not even sure I want to but stay assured I'm going to have to because he has. How can you fear never loving someone so much again when you have your whole life to lead. Is it destiny or my mind just fading